The news shocked me. I found out at my childhood church on Tamborine Mountain, on my birthday.
I burst into tears and had to leave. The last time I saw Him he was sharing at the same church how God had healed him and he later encouraged me to pursue my ministry to support those who have been bullied.
I went to his funeral. It was incredibly beautiful and powerfully honouring his young life and how he loved God and served him with all his heart. Yet it was also incredibly sad to watch my heart broken friend who just lost her husband way too soon. It was heartbreaking to look at their tiny daughter who would grow up without ever knowing her Dad.
A few weeks later I had to honour and privilege of helping Marieka clean out their home to rent out. I truly love coming alongside the bereaved. During that time the Holy Spirit encouraged my own heart that I once saw sensitivity as a weakness. Well it is not. I have come to see it as a mighty strength and a gift from God. After all the bible does have a bucket load to say about compassion, being tender hearted onto one another and letting our gentleness be evident to all.
As Marieka and I spent this precious time together we laughed..a little, we cried...more, we talked from the bottom of our hearts with all open raw honesty. She blessed my heart more than I can describe. Even in the midst of her raw grief.
During our time together I asked her how she handled going to church after Tim's loss. I just knew if it were me, church or large groups would be incredibly hard. They have during my own past losses. I feel completely overwhelmed at the thought of church in the midst of my raw grief.
Thankfully I took mental notes of what she said. I knew I did not have much longer with my Mum left and I was about to face a loss in my own life.
Here is a texted letter I sent to her to thank her 18 months after her loss, Just 3 months after my loss.
God moves mightily when believers get together and share openly and honestly in the midst of their raw pain. I have heard many times God never wastes our pain and Marieka, my beautiful friend you are living proof of this.
God bless you Marieka!
Marieka, I know it's been a while. I Just wanted to thank you for being so open and real during your grief journey. It has helped me so much. My Mum died in November. Also from cancer. Asophogeal Cancer. It was slow and painful and so hard to watch. I just sold my childhood home. I know you've walked through similar losses. I've been listening to the song "Worn" from Tenth Avenue North. I already loved that band! But that song and other's from their Struggle album have blessed my heart more than you know. In so thankful you shared it on Facebook that day. Also I'm about to go to my usual church after living back on the Mountain for 5 months. I don't feel ready for it. I've been going to a tiny Roslyn Lodge Presbyterian very nurturing service with gentle hymns. But I remember you saying, right after you lost Tim, you went to church a little late and left a little early to avoid comments and to ease back into it slowly. I tell you what that wisdom has also been a life and soul saver for me. You're a blessing mate. Even in you brokenness. I'd love to catch up sometime soon. Sending much love blessing and heaps of gratitude to you! God bless you! I love you! You are a mighty woman of God even in the midst of your pain and I'm proud to call you a dear friend. Xo
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